Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
