Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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