Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
