I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
