I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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