physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
