Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
