We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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