That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
