I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
