I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
