We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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