First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
