my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
