goodnight i made you a song goodbye
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
