My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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