Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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