I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My pussy is not your playground.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
