I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
