I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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