addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
