My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
