Moan for me like Helen Keller
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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