David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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