you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize