even my farts smell like vagina
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
