my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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