need another drink. this is the easiest way
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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