I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
