party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
