apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
