I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
