went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
