I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This is classic penis vs brain.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
