In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
