you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
