sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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