When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It's Friday. Sex?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
