i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
