sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
