I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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