I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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