The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
