let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
