So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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