I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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