So drunk its hurt
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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