do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
