I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
