Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
